We’re such homers.

I have always been a wand'rer / Over land and sea
"I have always been a wand'rer / Over land and sea"

So I was watching Eagle Eye in a theater here in Lafayette along with some friends, and about halfway through the movie, our hero and heroine were ordered to drive to Indianapolis.  The reaction in the theater was immediate—all sorts of nudges and murmurs of approval from the audience.  Indianapolis!  That’s here in Indiana!  We haven’t had a movie take place in Indiana since Hoosiers!  And Eagle Eye didn’t disappoint, spending a great deal of time in Indy, even in locations that I recognized.  It was kind of neat to see Hollywood acknowledge that there are other cities in the US of A besides New York, Los Angeles, and Washington, D.C.  Now if only the news media would get the memo, life would be grand.

Good thing this isn't Nebraska, or he'd be out of cell phone range.
Good thing this isn't Nebraska, or he'd be out of cell phone range.

In addition to the bonus points this movie scored for its nod to flyover country, it was also a pretty fun film, as long as you recognize that its premise is totally ridiculous.  The plot revolves around Shia LaBeouf (whose name I still can’t prounounce) and Michelle Monaghan, two ordinary people getting ordered around by a mysterious woman who can track their every move through cell phones, surveillance cameras, and other sinister electronic devices.  Of course, we all know that even the CIA is made up of a bunch of cubicles with hopeless old pawn-shop computers, so no one could actually do this.  And when the perpetrator is eventually unveiled, it is laughably implausible.  But if you’re looking for a realistic flick, why are you going to a movie theater?  Hollywood movies have never been realistic.  I mean, what are the odds that all the people in a real-life romance will be as good-looking as in that chick flick you saw last week?  Most people, including yours truly, are ugly.  So I figure that if we can suspend our disbelief in that area, as we have done for decades, we can simply turn off our brains and enjoy Eagle Eye.  (Note that this doesn’t apply to a movie that flagrantly violates the laws of physics and expects us not to notice.)

Also, Steven Spielberg is such a softie and can’t seem to let movies of this sort end on a tragic note, even when it makes total sense for them to end that way.  If you’ve watched this movie, you know exactly what I mean.

One final complaint I have is that the director seemed to love close-up shots, which are great during dramatic dialogue scenes but not so great in the middle of a giant action sequence when I’m less interested in seeing Shia’s facial stubble and more interested in seeing what the heck is going on.  But hey, I only paid the matinee price for a ticket, so I won’t complain too much.

Rating time!  The system:

  • I would pay money to see it again ($$$$).
  • I would see it again if someone gave me a free ticket ($$$).
  • I wouldn’t see it again even if someone gave me a free ticket ($$).
  • I wouldn’t see it again even if someone paid me to go ($).

Eagle Eye lands $$$ (three dollars).  Make it two dollars and change if you’re not from Indiana.

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