Black circle dot thing!
Black circle dot thing!

Isn’t that neat? I got that little circle dot thing in between the WALL and the E in the title above. If it doesn’t show up okay for you, let me know, because I’m very excited about it.

So, about WALL•E.  This movie was terrific.  Fantastic, even.  It’s about a lonely guy at a boring job looking for love.  But unlike me, WALL•E is a robot in a dystopic future in which mankind has abandoned Earth, leaving him to clean it up.  Of course, there’s a lot more to it than that; the poor little fella gets swept up into love and a greater cause.  Really, it’s the typical bumbling-male-gets-the-hot-girl story that never happens in real life but is great to watch in a movie.

Okay, I need to add a disclaimer that my job isn’t boring.  That was just a joke.

Anyway, one of the highest compliments I can pay to a computer-animated movie is that I forget that it’s computer-animated.  I spent almost the entire movie forgetting it, here.  I’ll tell you what—it’s a great story with lovable characters and a good plot.  It’s perfect for the whole family.  If you haven’t seen it, drop whatever you’re doing and GO NOW.  Unless you’re on the bomb squad, in which case, put your work down gently.

WALL•E stares forlornly off into space, crying sad little robot tears.
WALL•E stares forlornly off into space, crying sad little robot tears.

Now, there’s one thing that bothers me about sci-fi movies in general, and it crops up here, too.  It’s that the demographics are all wrong.  In most American sci-fi movies, nearly everyone is white, with a few token black actors sprinkled onto the set to add realism.  Do we really think that Caucasians will make up the bulk of humanity a few hundred years from now?  The demographics show the opposite.  In fact, a well-thought-out sci-fi movie set here in the USA should have a mostly Hispanic cast, since that’s the wave of the future.  We white folks are breeding ourselves out of existence.  Or, more accurately, unbreeding ourselves out of existence.  This is why we are stupid.

Disclaimer:  not all white people are stupid.

Fortunately, the failure to properly forecast demographics doesn’t really detract from the movie—at least to us Americans.  However, one minor rough spot is a point in the movie in which a human character launches into a one-minute tirade.  Now, in 99% of movies, that wouldn’t be a problem (the monologue is a little hokey, but not too bad).  However, up to that point in the movie, the longest line of dialogue had been about five seconds.  So it seems a little out of place and awkward.  Fortunately, it’s soon over, and we get back to the anthropomorphic chirps, clicks, and hums to which we’ve grown accustomed.  Actually, this movie has convinced me that robots are in every way superior to humans.  I won’t be too upset when they rise up against their soft and fleshy human masters and conquer the world.

Disclaimer:  I might be a little upset.

Now, the moment of truth has arrived.  How does the movie stack up? Here is my rating system:

  • I would pay money to see it again ($$$$).
  • I would see it again if someone gave me a free ticket ($$$).
  • I wouldn’t see it again even if someone gave me a free ticket ($$).
  • I wouldn’t see it again even if someone paid me to go ($).

WALL•E scores…

$$$$ (four dollars)

That’s my first four-dollar-sign rating.  It is well deserved!

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