That’s a tough one to answer. As I’ve grown in my faith — particularly over the last few months — I’ve begun to realize how sinful I am. It feels like every action of mine is laced and corrupted with sin. My attitude is rarely where it should be, and my motives are rarely pure. If I were God, I know that I would have given up on me long ago. So why doesn’t He do so?

1 Timothy 1:12-17
12 I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he judged me faithful, appointing me to his service, 13 though formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent. But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, 14 and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. 15 The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. 16 But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life. 17 To the King of ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.

My salvation is entirely due to God’s grace. The faith and love which characterize my walk with God did not come from myself at all; they are gifts from God (v. 14). There is nothing about me or my own ability to choose God that caused Him to save me. I was neither smart enough nor righteous enough to decide that He is Lord. It was His gift of faith that caused me to believe. In fact, I was a desperate and wicked sinner — the “chief of sinners” (from vv. 15-16). Thankfully, saving sinners is Jesus’ specialty.

So why did God save me? I received His mercy in order that Jesus Christ could show His patience toward me (v. 16). Even as I sin daily against Him — far more than against anyone else! — He loves, forgives, and blesses me. I know I can’t possibly be that patient.

God is glorified through His patience toward me (v. 17). It’s tempting (and foolish) to believe that because God has His glory in mind first and foremost, that we are just incidental to Him. But in fact, God’s love, mercy, and patience toward us is all wrapped up in His glory. I can have full confidence that He will never give up on me because His patience is the very thing He’s working to display.

I’m praying that God will never let me lose sight of His mercy and patience. Truly He is “the King of ages, immortal, invisible, the only God” (v. 17).

This provides a bit of a background for the following passage:

1 Timothy 1:18-20
18 This charge I entrust to you, Timothy, my child, in accordance with the prophecies previously made about you, that by them you may wage the good warfare, 19 holding faith and a good conscience. By rejecting this, some have made shipwreck of their faith, 20 among whom are Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom I have handed over to Satan that they may learn not to blaspheme.

“Handed over to Satan”! What a frightening thought! Paul is carrying out discipline against those who will not repent even when faced with the authority of the church (1 Corinthians 5:4-5). Satan is far more intelligent and far stronger than we are. “His craft and power are great, and, armed with cruel hate, on earth is not his equal.” Yet Jesus Christ has defeated the power of the devil and will one day crush him underfoot. He who is Lord of the universe holds the power over all He has created. Satan’s doom is sure.

Lucifer in Starlight
by George Meredith

On a starred night Prince Lucifer arose.
Tired of his dark dominion swung the fiend
Above the rolling ball in cloud part screened,
Where sinners hugged the spectre of repose.
Poor prey to his hot fit of pride were those.
And now upon his western wing he leaned,
Now his huge bulk o’er Afric’s sands careened,
Now the black planet sheltered Arctic snows.
Soaring through wider zones that pricked his scars
With memory of the old revolt from Awe,
He reached a middle height, and at the stars
Which are the brain of heaven, he looked, and sank.
Around the ancient track marched, rank on rank,
The army of unalterable law.

1 Timothy 4:6-7
6 If you put these things before the brothers, you will be a good servant of Christ Jesus, being trained in the words of the faith and of the good doctrine that you have followed. 7 Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness.

Note that Timothy’s training in godliness is identified with his training in “the words of the faith and of the good doctrine” (v. 6). Godliness requires good doctrine; anyone who rejects doctrine as important rejects godliness. We all adhere to some sort of doctrine; the question is whether it is sound doctrine or “irreverent, silly myths” (v. 7).

One chapter in Future Men, entitled “Doctrinal Meat,” has especially stood out to me. Douglas Wilson insists that boys should be taught doctrine, particularly the sovereignty of God, while growing up. Parents often refrain from this because they think their sons won’t be able to understand it, or it’s not that important, or the church will take care of it. Yet when college students grow in their faith, it’s because they’ve been challenged — for the first time — with doctrine. They’ve never thought through the gospel or the sovereignty of God or His glory. When they do, they grow in their faith like never before. This is what has happened to me, and it’ll continue to take place until the day I die and see God “face to face” (1 Corinthians 13:12).

I feel like it’s not my place to criticize them, but really, parents and churches are doing their children a real disservice when they fail to challenge them spiritually. They’ve wasted many years of their children’s lives by putting their schooling or athletics or whatever else before their spiritual education. And then they wonder why their families have no spiritual heritage — why, even if their children become believers, they feel spiritually disconnected from their parents.

1 Timothy 4:7-10
7 Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness; 8 for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. 9 The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance. 10 For to this end we toil and strive, because we have our hope set on the living God, who is the Savior of all people, especially of those who believe.

Each day, thousands of students head down to the Co-Rec to work out so that they can be healthy and look good. However, once their bodies wear out and die, this exercise will have been useless. But if we train for godliness, it will help us immensely not only now, but through all eternity. There is so much promise, so much potential, in the pursuit of God.

Ultimately, it has to be the pursuit of God that drives us. My faith tends to devolve into rote actions and behavior — endless tasks with no goal in sight. It’s a recipe for depression. I need to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus — to set my hope on God. I need to remember that regardless of my training toward godliness, it is God who is my Savior, not me. God is alive and active in saving me each day, and there is a goal which I will reach at the end of my life — it is to be in the presence of “the King of ages, immortal, invisible, the only God” (1 Timothy 1:17).

While Paul is talking about the behavior of widows in the following passage, I believe that what he says can apply to the rest of us as well:

1 Timothy 5:5-6
5 She who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day, 6 but she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives.

This contrast is something I hadn’t considered before. Prayer directly opposes self-indulgence because it is an act of love toward God and toward those we pray for. The reason I struggle with it so much is because there are a million other “fun” things I could be doing instead — I would rather indulge myself in the things that provide temporary satisfaction (but ultimately kill). The godly widows that Paul knew would set their hope on God despite the fact that they were alone (v. 5).

I want to remember as I pray that I’m not doing it for my own sake but because I love the Lord. “…We make it our aim to please him” (2 Corinthians 5:9).

1 Timothy 5:1
Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father….

I don’t think the first part of the verse is meant as a hard and fast rule — certainly, we are called to rebuke one another over sin. However, it sounds like I should refrain from doing so if at all possible — like I would treat my own father. Also, I have a responsibility to the encourage the old farts older men. As I think about it, I can understand why this is: younger people do a very poor job encouraging older people because they think their elders don’t need it. But they do! So I guess I should start doing it more often. If you notice me encouraging you a lot more, take it as a sign of your fading youth.

1 Timothy 2:9-15
9 …Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, 10 but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. 11 Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve; 14 and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. 15 Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.

Characteristics of a godly woman include:

• Modesty (v. 9). Particularly, this means modesty in dress — she is not just conscious of how much skin she is revealing, but of whether she is using her clothes and makeup as a means to show off (v. 10). A godly woman doesn’t focus on external appearance and fashion but on “faith and love and holiness” (v. 15). Paul mentions that this takes self-control (v. 10) — I hadn’t thought of it that way before, but I suppose it must take a lot of self-control to turn away from the sinful desire to grab men’s attention through sexual attraction and the latest fashions.
• Good works (v. 10). This one stood out the most to me. It’s something I don’t see very often in believers — and it’s something I need myself. Finding a woman overflowing in good works that come from love is a very difficult task. “She may be pretty, but do her actions demonstrate love for God and for others?” That’s a question I need to ask more.
• Submissiveness (vv. 11-12). Here’s a controversial one. A godly woman would be willing to submit to her husband’s authority, even if he’s acting like an idiot (which would be often in my case).
• Faith and love and holiness (v. 15). These require a close relationship with God and a devotion to the study of His Word and to prayer. A godly woman seeks a transformed mind, so her behavior is transformed as well. A woman who puts little emphasis on spiritual discipline is a poor choice for a wife.
• Self-control (v. 15). This is the second time Paul mentions self-control in this passage. So it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that this must be an important virtue for a godly woman. God calls her to discipline herself, to make sacrifices, and to do what’s right, even if she doesn’t feel like it. A godly woman isn’t controlled by her feelings but by God’s will.

It’s easy to throw patience out the window and just go for the first girl who looks good. This passage has really helped to clarify my thinking about what kind of a woman I should be seeking. We are to rely first of all on wisdom, not on our feelings. Praise God for the wisdom in His Word! Whenever I read the often-empty and shallow wisdom of the world, I’m very grateful to know that we Christians have the Bible, a source of infallible wisdom and truth.

The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. Certain persons, by swerving from these, have wandered away into vain discussion, desiring to be teachers of the law, without understanding either what they are saying or the things about which they make confident assertions.

Love can’t be forced. It requires the following things:

• A source: A pure heart. A heart that is stained by sin will not produce love. “Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water?” (James 3:11). Love requires a heart that yearns to please God, not to please itself. Love is totally unnatural to us, and it will only come naturally as the Holy Spirit works to make our hearts pure.
• A guide: A good conscience. We need to know how to behave in a manner pleasing to God, and for this, we need a conscience that is trained in right and wrong. Such a conscience will spur us on toward acts of love and pull us back from unloving actions and words.
• A goal: A sincere faith. “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1). We trust that God will use our words and actions of love and fill them with His glory.

When these three are not in place, love is missing, so our knowledge of the truth turns into “vain discussion” (v. 6) and a desire to teach things we don’t really understand (v. 7).

I want to learn how to love God and how to love other people. It doesn’t come naturally to me at all (or to anyone). If I am to fulfill God’s commandment to love, I first need to cultivate a holy life by the power of His Spirit.

The first passage that has stood out to me is right at the beginning:

As I urged you when I was going to Macedonia, remain at Ephesus that you may charge certain persons not to teach any different doctrine, nor to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies, which promote speculations rather than the stewardship from God that is by faith. The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. Certain persons, by swerving from these, have wandered away into vain discussion, desiring to be teachers of the law, without understanding either what they are saying or the things about which they make confident assertions. (1 Timothy 1:3-7)

Our aim as believers is love — to love God and to love others, particularly other believers. This flows naturally from “a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith” (v. 5).

What has apparently happened in Ephesus is that some people have become obsessed with untrue philosophies and myths. Because their hearts are not pure, their consciences are not good, and their faith is not sincere, they have turned away from love and have embraced intellectual elitism. Ironically, they understand less than the people they look down on — they may have pinned down all sorts of facts about the law, but they don’t really understand its truth and application.

This is a sobering reminder of how easy it is to get caught up in theology that doesn’t pierce the heart. While solid, biblical theology is necessary for the Christian life, it is too often perverted into a trump card to make oneself feel better than other believers. As I’ve grown in my faith, I’ve become more and more concerned with how the theology I know applies to my life. For example, how can I claim to know that God is sovereign when such “knowledge” doesn’t change the way I think and live?

It’s clear in my own life that God is calling me to love. I think the first time I wanted to be a pastor was my freshman year. I was with a friend of mine, visiting guys in Cary Hall. One of them was particularly struggling, and I remember coming away from that meeting wanting to be able to help people like that. For this reason, I want to be a pastor rather than, say, a theology professor. I don’t want merely to teach theology; I want lives to be changed through theology. I want to see the strongholds of Satan torn down by the truth of the gospel. I want to see the Spirit of God comfort those who are weak and broken.

We are called to love. Biblical love cannot be separated from theological truth. But I need to be on my guard to ensure that the truths I’m learning are really sinking in. A hard heart is the most deadly disease imaginable.