Monthly Archives: November 2008
The Book of Happiness – Meditation 12: Share a Kiss
Even Mother Nature knows that sometimes all we need is a kiss from a loved one to get through the day. Or perhaps a little comfort food. Enjoy Meditation #12 from The Book of Happiness: Share a Kiss.
Grow up, Peter Pan! (Part 3 of 3)
If you’re a young man here in America, you’ve probably got a Peter Pan problem. In the first post in this series on Thursday, we looked at a list of symptoms that might indicate how even a Christian young man can struggle with a failure to grow up and take responsibility for the things that God wants him to take responsibility for. Then, in the second post, we looked at the heart issue behind this failure: we insist on maintaining the illusion of adequacy, and thus we only do the things that we are good at (e.g. watching TV, surfing the Internet, or even homework or sports). We aren’t willing to take on things that we’re bad at because it would wound our pride and force us to cry out to God for help.
We were not saved to be mediocre. God did not choose us in Jesus Christ “before the foundation of the world” to merely do the things for which we are adequate but “that we should be holy and blameless before him” (Ephesians 1:4). So often, we settle for legalism. We say and do enough to look like we’re obeying God’s law—enough to assuage our consciences and look good in front of other people. But we’re living a life devoid of faith. We aren’t willing to take risks for God; we’d rather trust in our own flesh than trust in God.
I don’t suppose you want to keep living like that. Here’s God’s way to live:
Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose trust is the LORD.
He is like a tree planted by water,
that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes,
for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
for it does not cease to bear fruit.
—Jeremiah 17:7-8
“The man who trusts in man” (v. 5) lives in a wasteland. But the one who trusts in the Lord—he grows and flourishes, bears fruit and stays green even in times of drought.
When we humble ourselves and begin to trust in the Lord rather than in our own adequacy, God’s Word comes alive. When you start doing what God calls you to do, you will quickly find your own wisdom and your own strength to be inadequate. You will find your own sin to be overwhelming. You will find yourself in prayer, often and at length, crying out for help. You will find yourself turning to the Bible for wisdom, guidance, and encouragement—and its words will no longer be boring but will crackle with energy. You will find yourself turning to mature believers for advice, instead of keeping your problems bottled up inside of you.
If you’re waiting for God to flip some switch inside of you to give you the faith to do all of those things…sorry, it doesn’t usually work that way. Here’s the advice that the apostle Paul gives: “Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure” (Philippians 2:12-13). First, remember that God is at work in you. He isn’t watching lazily from heaven, waiting for you to make the first move, turning a deaf ear to your prayers. He is on your side. He is with you in this! He wants to see you grow and serve him faithfully, and he will exercise all of his might to make sure you do. Second, you have to get to work. You’re simply going to have to say a prayer, suck it up, and go out and take care of your responsibilities. It will be hard. You will be hurt. But you will finally know what it means to be “happy in Jesus.”
It’s a simple truth, and we tend to dismiss simple truths because we think we’re beyond them. But the fact is that we need to learn to trust and obey, like the hymn says:
When we walk with the Lord
In the light of his Word,
What a glory he sheds on our way!
While we do his good will,
He abides with us still,
And with all who will trust and obey.Trust and obey,
For there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus,
But to trust and obey.
Grow up, Peter Pan! (Part 2 of 3)
Yesterday, I admitted to being Peter Pan, and I incriminated a whole bunch of other young men in the process. Peter Pan won’t grow up; he’d rather not take responsibility for things that grown-ups are supposed to do. Peter Pan lives in a fantasy world which substitutes for the real world and its real problems, its real imperfections, and its real responsibilities.
Now that I’ve laid out a ridiculously long laundry list of unmanly habits and ways of thinking, I’d like to examine what the root is behind this problem. Why is it so hard for us to grow up? Why do we stay so childish for so long?
Well, if you read the first post carefully, you may already have an idea where this is going to go. I made a number of comments to the effect that if we just do things that we’re comfortable with or good at, we don’t need to depend on God. I want to explore that a little more, because this is a dangerous tendency that is most pronounced in guys—because they are called as men to lead and to initiate—but affects everyone to some degree.
There’s a sentence in the Bible that I just haven’t been able to get out of my mind these last couple of weeks. It’s the second half of 2 Corinthians 2:16: “Who is sufficient for these things?” In context, of course, Paul is writing about the preaching of God’s word and its effect “among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing” (v. 15). However, this question certainly applies to all forms of obedience. We cannot obey the Lord without his Spirit at work within us “to will and to work for his good pleasure” (Philippians 2:13). We are not sufficient—or adequate, as some translations put it—to do what is right with motives that are pleasing to God. We are not adequate to display Christ in our actions, our attitudes, and our words.
Here’s what we are adequate for. You and I are totally adequate to sit on the couch for hours and watch TV. We are totally adequate to stay up until one in the morning surfing the Internet. We are totally adequate to lock ourselves away in our rooms and do homework. We are totally adequate not to tell our friends and family the good news of Jesus Christ. We are totally adequate to wimp out on asking out young women we like. We are totally adequate to confine ourselves to our circle of friends, people just like us, from our age group, around whom we’re comfortable. We are totally adequate to do all these things that are easy and natural.
What a tragedy of adequacy! We want to do only those things for which we are able to trust in our own strength. Take a look at what God says about this lifestyle:
Thus says the LORD:
“Cursed is the man who trusts in man
and makes flesh his strength,
whose heart turns away from the LORD.
He is like a shrub in the desert,
and shall not see any good come.
He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness,
in an uninhabited salt land.”
—Jeremiah 17:5-6
I have lived in that uninhabited salt land for years. Perhaps you have, too. You’re miserable, aren’t you? You haven’t seen any good come. Your life is parched; you are depressed and discouraged. Friends and movies and video games and sports can make you happy for a little while, but before long you are back in the desert. The Bible seems dead, boring, and dry; your prayers are limp and ineffective.
You have trusted in man. You have made flesh your strength. Often, we put our trust in other people—in the President or sports icons or parents or friends; they will always disappoint us. Yet a much more sinister form of trusting in man is when we trust in ourselves. That’s why we only do the things we’re adequate to do. You and I—we don’t want to do anything that would require us to trust in God. We’d rather do what we’re capable of doing on our own. It doesn’t take any faith whatsoever to watch TV or play video games or sports (if you’re athletic) or do homework (if you’re intelligent). It takes faith to actually step out and obey God.
Of course, if we were to obey God, we’d quickly realize that we can’t do it on our own strength, and then we’d have to cry out for help. That’s a blow to the ego. And you and I have invested far too much effort into polishing our pride and propping up our reputations; we certainly can’t get down on our knees, weeping, crying out for help from the God who is the only one who can help. “The arm of flesh will fail you; ye dare not trust your own.”
That’s why we’re Peter Pans. We are self-reliant. We are proud. We are arrogant. And we don’t want to have to act out of faith in God. We don’t want to depend on him.
Of course, this lifestyle doesn’t work. I know it doesn’t. But often, I’d rather be miserable and govern my own life—with God as a Tinkerbell perched on my shoulder—than recognize and submit to his Lordship and experience the joy he has to offer. More on that joy in the third and final post.
Grow up, Peter Pan! (Part 1 of 3)
If you’ve ever heard or read anything by Mark Driscoll, you’ll immediately understand why he is one of the most controversial preachers in the church today. He is very firm on his doctrine and is very blunt—often to the point of being crass—in expressing his convictions. Recently, Driscoll traveled to Australia and criticized the church there (at their invitation). One of the most jarring criticisms was of the young men; he told them to grow up, get involved in the church, get married, start families, etc. Driscoll refers to young men who don’t do these things as “Peter Pans.”
Now, let’s set aside Driscoll himself and talk about what it means to be a “Peter Pan.” It’s terrific imagery because:
- Peter Pan tries to avoid growing up and taking responsibility for the things grown-ups should take responsibility for.
- Peter Pan lives off in a fantasy world instead of dealing with the problems of the real world.
Guys, does that sound like you? It sure as heck sounds like me. It’s remarkable—and disconcerting—how much of the sin in my life falls under this heading. But perhaps you’re not convinced. I want to help us all out here by coming up with a (non-exhaustive) list of signs that indicate how you and I may be Peter Pan. Many of these I gathered from looking in the mirror, while a few I gathered from observing other young men around my own age (these are geared toward guys in their college years or 20s). I decided to err on the side of being harsh because I’d rather overstate my case than understate it.
You might be Peter Pan if…
- You spend hours in front of the TV set each day—watching TV or movies or playing video games.
- You spend hours on your computer each day surfing the Internet aimlessly.
- You prefer spending time at the TV or computer over actually interacting with the people around you.
- You always have your iPod earbuds in your ears, even for two-minute walks between classes. You can’t stand the thought of silence (the horror of it!).
- You’d rather listen to your music than talk to people.
- You avoid talking to people you don’t know. You just hang around your own cozy little circle of friends and never show interest in anyone new.
- You typically keep your bedroom door closed and your window blinds shut, blocking out the outside world.
- You use the fact that you’re an introvert as an excuse to avoid other people. (Sorry, introverts—I’m one, too, and I know this is a crap excuse.)
…and you might be Peter Pan if…
- You catch yourself daydreaming frequently—in fact, most of your internal reflections are daydreams.
- You live your live vicariously through your daydreams.
- You let your daydreams become a substitute for real relationships and real action.
- You don’t do things you know are right, and you’re not willing to take risks because you know what will happen if you do; somehow, you have attained God’s knowledge of the future, O wisest of sages.
…and you might be Peter Pan if…
- You don’t get your homework done until the last minute (if at all) and somehow convince yourself that it will take care of itself without you having to lift a finger.
- You don’t go to bed on time because it’s too much work to get off your butt and get ready for bed.
- You don’t clean up after yourself because you’re lazy and besides, your roommates will do it for you, just like your mommy used to.
- You slack off on laundry, grocery store trips, scheduling doctor’s appointments, or anything that will take effort, because it’s just too hard.
- You waste time at work on one frivolous distraction after another (such as reading this blog) instead of actually doing work.
- You don’t keep track of your finances because you know that daddy will always be around to bail you out.
- You whine and complain about any inconvenience (including inconvenient people) that God would dare bring across your path.
…and you might be Peter Pan if…
- You really like a young woman but you’re too chicken to ask her out. You’d rather spend your nights sleeplessly pining after her until she turns into an idol.
- You have every intention of staying single for reasons other than that it will free you up to serve the Lord more effectively (1 Corinthians 7:32).
- You think of a wife as being a “ball and chain” that will keep you from continuing in your carefree, selfish, indulgent lifestyle.
- You’re doing nothing—spiritually or financially—to prepare yourself for marriage and leading a family.
- You’re not actively looking for women whom you’d be interested in marrying.
- You don’t seek advice from older people on dating, marriage, and being a father. You figure you’ll just cross that bridge when you come to it. (It can’t be that hard, right? And it can’t possibly be as important as my studies!)
- You haven’t thought through biblical principles that would help you know how to go about dating/courting a young woman. You’re foolish enough to believe that because the Bible doesn’t use the word dating, God has nothing to say on the subject and you can follow what all your friends are doing.
- You let daydreams of marriage and sex substitute for the real thing. Imagining these things is a lot easier than actually winning over a woman’s heart, so you just stick with what you’re good at.
- You get sexual gratification from pornography, which is perfect for a lazy bum who isn’t willing to handle the responsibilities of leadership and service that are part of the package of sex within marriage.
- You use sexual fantasy as a narcotic to escape the pain of the real world.
- You want a girlfriend because you desperately need someone to love you. You’re needy and clingy. You fear other people rather than the Lord.
- You have a girlfriend, and you desperately need her to love you. You’re needy and clingy. You fear her rather than the Lord.
…and you might be Peter Pan if…
- You are not actively serving in a local church like God has insisted that you do (1 Corinthians 12). You only hang around your buddies in the college ministry.
- You don’t know anyone at your church who is more than four years older than you.
- You don’t seek out friendships with older men. You make no effort to listen and learn from older men.
- You don’t get enough sleep during the week, and especially Saturday night, so you aren’t alert during the sermon to hear the things God wants to teach you.
- You’ve never taken time to leaf through your church’s hymnal and marvel at the rich doctrine found in the hymns inside (assuming your church uses a hymnal).
- You haven’t been baptized and you’ve never really put much thought into it.
- You skip the Lord’s Supper at Family Gathering service (KSBC only) and think it’s no big deal because being able to put off your homework until Sunday night is more important to you. Never mind that Jesus told you to do do it in memory of him.
- You don’t care about church membership. It’s something you’ll get to one day, maybe, if you feel like it.
- You care more about the Indianapolis Colts (or other local sports team) than you do about your church, its growth, and the people in it.
…and you might be Peter Pan if…
- You never spend more than two minutes in prayer, and your prayers sound like a boring grocery list of requests. You never do anything that would force you to depend on God in prayer.
- You never pray together with other believers.
- You never pray for anyone except yourself.
- You don’t read your Bible for wisdom because you don’t need its wisdom to know how to sit on the couch and watch TV all day, or to spend all day studying for your classes. You’re totally adequate for these things, so you’ll stick with what you’re good at instead of, you know, actually trusting and obeying God.
- You don’t memorize scripture because it’s “too hard.” No, it’s not.
- You never share the gospel with anyone because you’re too afraid of what people will think of you. If only that perfect opportunity would just fall into your lap…
…and you might be Peter Pan if…
- You feel more comfortable referring to yourself as a “guy” rather than a “man.”
- Other people feel more comfortable referring to you as a “guy” rather than a “man.”
- People don’t come to you for advice and help for difficult situations in their lives because they know that all you’re good for is your MP3 collection or your knowledge of sports trivia or your knack for acing engineering exams.
Most of these are sins of omission rather than sins of commission. Many of the “bad” things mentioned aren’t bad in and of themselves (TV, music, sports, studies, etc.). They’re bad because they replace something that should not be omitted. Being a Peter Pan is all about sins of omission.
So we’ve identified some of the symptoms, but what is the cancer underlying all these problems? What is behind this menagerie of sins? Stay tuned for the sequel—part two out of three.
Also, if you can think of more signs of a Peter Pan, I’d love to read what you have to say. A woman’s perspective on these would be helpful, too! So please feel welcome to leave comments.
Why is The Shack so successful?
After posting a one-sentence review of The Shack last Sunday, I followed up on Wednesday with a critique of William P. Young’s perspective on authority which he lays out in the book. Today, I want to end with a few thoughts on why I think The Shack has become so popular and why it has had such a powerful effect on many who read it. While this is not an exhaustive list, here are seven reasons why I think this book has enjoyed such great success:
1. Story time
The Shack is a story. Narrative—fiction or non-fiction—is a very powerful means of communication, and it is very effective at getting across an agenda. We could turn to the Bible itself as a prime example of this; throughout much of the Bible, theology is given legs through pictures of God actually at work through the course of history. I have read several people who try to deflect criticism from The Shack by appealing to its nature as a fictional work, but even fiction can have an agenda (good or bad), and this book certainly does. Young’s writing style varies from passable to cringe-worthy (the “gilt edges”/“guilt edges” pun about the Bible from p. 66 comes to mind); his chapter titles are incredibly corny; he can’t seem to decide whether or not to give God the Father a consistent sassy-black-woman accent. Yet the fact remains that the story is at times emotionally moving, and Young is just good enough as a narrator not to get in the way of what he is narrating.
2. God the mouthpiece
Young’s primary means of revelation is through the members of the Trinity. Nearly all of the important teaching comes from the mouths of Papa, Jesus, and Sarayu (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit). The result is that these three become Young’s spokesmen (or spokeswomen?). As his mouthpieces, they say what he wants them to say. In a sense, this is an inversion of the biblical pattern where the authors of scripture became God’s spokesmen, saying what he wanted them to say. Now, The Shack is meant to be read as fiction; however, there is a certain air of authority when it is God himself saying the things Young wants us to believe.
3. Mack the claqueur
Lest I appear more well-cultured than I really am, I’ll admit that I didn’t know what a claqueur was until last night. I actually found out while looking at the Wikipedia entry for “laugh track.” And that’s one of the major roles of Mack’s character—to provide the response to the Trinity’s teaching that Young wants the audience to have. It is remarkable how many times, after a member of the Godhead finishes pontificating on a topic, that Mack is said to feel like he wants to laugh and cry at the same time, or is said to feel a great burden lifted from his shoulders, or is said to feel excited and bewildered. Mack’s emotional responses are a sort of hint that Young provides us as readers; they are a subtle suggestion that we, too, should be feeling the same way, just like laugh tracks in sitcoms inform the audience that a joke has been told and that it is funny (unless the sitcom is That ’70s Show or Friends).
4. Emotional buzz
I’m not sure whether to be comforted or not by the fact that many people don’t seem to be reading The Shack for theology. I find it comforting because it means that much of the false doctrine taught in this book will be ignored. But I find it disconcerting because it means that these people are not reading this book to know God more. Anyone who is seeking to know God more is seeking good theology (the knowledge of God). Rather than striving for “the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord” (Philippians 3:8), many Christians are content to use books like this as a cheap drug, a means to getting an emotional buzz—a pseudo-spiritual “high”—that will get them through tough times. The bad news is that while the God of The Shack may make them feel better for a little while, the “high” won’t last because Young’s God is so meager in comparison to the God of the Bible.
5. Itching ears
There are others who are reading this book to know God more, and they are swallowing Young’s teaching hook, line, and sinker. In my initial review, I referred to his God as “a Trinity invented by a 21st-century American.” I doubt that this book would appeal to people outside of a modern Western audience. It is grounded so firmly in the perceived needs and worldview of our culture. We don’t want authority; we don’t want structure; we don’t want a sovereign God. We want relationship without responsibility and blessing without being broken. We want an idol carved out of God, where all his “rough edges” are sanded off and a newer, harmless deity is made for us to worship. The Shack offers us this version of God, and it is no surprise that it has become so popular. Paul warned Timothy that “the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths” (2 Timothy 4:3-4).
6. A vein of truth
Despite all these failures, The Shack does teach a lot of true things about God. It does portray God as caring for his people, as a God of unconditional love, as a God who isn’t a tyrant over his own. It reminds us that he is immanent—God with us. It admits that we live in a broken world, full of anguish, sorrow, and hurt. And it tells us that God wants to restore his creation to the full beauty and harmony that it was meant to display.
7. The salt has lost its saltiness
Finally, let me be blunt. This book should not have been written. By this, I mean that the above truths should be so obvious to people within the church that they do not need a fatally flawed book such as The Shack to remind them. Moreover, people outside the church should see the love of God manifested in his people and their love for one another (John 13:35). You and I—we have failed to show others the one true God by the way we conduct our lives.
As long as we refuse to give ourselves up as living sacrifices to God, as long as we hold ourselves back, we will no longer be shining “as lights in the world” (Philippians 2:15). Let us live in such a way that no one around us is interested in reading The Shack because they see in us something resembling the true God. It is certainly our responsibility to refute false doctrine (Titus 1:9). But above all, let us remember Jesus’ commandment: “Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 5:16).
