Monthly Archives: May 2008
Ramblings on Calvinism
So…
It’s been a nice day outside, and I’m sitting out on the back deck watching robins hop along the roof of the house across the yard from me. I thought this would be a good place to bring all my thoughts together as I wait for a pot pie to cook in the microwave.
Lately, I’ve had a lot on my mind when it comes to the doctrines of grace. I grew up firmly convinced that people were able to come to God on their own for salvation. I guess I believed this by default; I found out, when challenged, that the Bible teaches the opposite. I fought tooth and nail against Romans 9 before grudgingly admitting that maybe God knows what He’s doing better than I do. And finally, the doctrines I once despised ended up becoming precious to me.
Why is God’s complete sovereignty in salvation so important to me? I think a lot of it has to do with boredom. Frankly, I was used to a boring god who needs pizazz and clever marketing campaigns to sucker people into church. That god is almost impossible for me to worship. Happily, I don’t have to, because he’s not real. The true God is fearsome and awe-inspiring, and He’s a lot easier to worship. That’s the kind of God that appears in Calvinistic doctrine, and this doctrine resonates with me because I crave a God whom I can fear. I can’t love a God that I don’t fear.
The thing is, I assent to all of the vaunted “five points” of Calvinism, but I don’t think I’ve really learned to think like a Calvinist. It’s easy to give intellectual assent to a point of doctrine, but it’s much harder to let it soak into your soul so that it becomes the lens through which you view the world. For too long, I’ve allowed this theology to be a collection of beliefs tacked on top of a worldview which doesn’t really differ much from the culture around me. This new-wine-in-old-wineskins tension tears me up inside. It doesn’t work. I need to start thinking like a Calvinist.
And in a sense, just about every genuine Christian does already…at least in our prayers. Any Christian worth his salt has prayed for the salvation of those who have not yet believed in Jesus Christ. “Father, please save my friend Harvey.” When a Calvinist prays these words, it’s very clear what he means; he is asking God to draw Harvey to Himself with irresistible grace, to open the man’s eyes so he will certainly and gladly choose to follow Christ. When an Arminian prays these words, I’m not exactly sure what he’s asking God to do. If the final say on Harvey’s salvation rests on Harvey, well…this is a useless prayer because God’s hands are tied. Let’s face it—Calvinist prayers are much better than Arminian prayers.
Aside from praying, though, I don’t really think like a Calvinist. This is especially true when it comes to evangelism. I’ve heard it said that we should hold to Calvinist doctrine but evangelize like Arminians. I think that’s what I’ve been doing, and it doesn’t really work. When I’ve shared the gospel with people, they usually haven’t responded much at all. I get discouraged about it; the Word of God no longer seems “living and active” (Hebrews 4:12). I just can’t seem to get it into my head that God can save anyone He wants. If someone is His elect, he or she will be saved—period. If I could only start thinking like that, I would be much bolder in sharing the gospel with others because God could save any person if He so chooses. George Whitefield, one of the greatest evangelists of all time, remarked that “this makes me to preach with comfort, because I know salvation does not depend on man’s free will, but the Lord makes willing in the day of his power, and can make use of me to bring some of his elect home, when and where he pleases.”
One truth that is sinking into me is the depravity of the human heart. Sin that I never even used to notice bothers me a lot now. I wasted most of my Saturday watching endless TV like a lazy slob instead of spending time with the Lord and getting work done. A couple of years ago, that would have been par for the course; now, I feel awful when I sin like that. In fact, I feel like a much more wicked person overall than I was a few years back. Everyone tells me that the opposite is true, but when all the hidden filth of the heart—what John Owen called “a standing sink of abominations”—is exposed by a growing knowledge of God’s will…well, the feeling isn’t good. But it is a good feeling to have because it’s the truth.
Unfortunately, I just don’t get the love of God. I tend to think He’s like me, only better—He’s got a longer fuse, but eventually His love will run out and then I’m on my own. So it’s refreshing to read in the Bible that God is more than a cosmic superman. While preparing to teach ABF on Sunday morning (which I should have done on Saturday), I read 1 Samuel 12:22: “For the Lord will not forsake his people, for his great name’s sake, because it has pleased the Lord to make you a people for himself.” That was an instant pick-me-up, because all of a sudden I remembered that God didn’t choose and love His people because they’re more intelligent or skilled or more righteous. He didn’t elect me for salvation because He saw a spark of potential in me that wasn’t in someone else. No! God’s reasons for choosing us are His alone to know; all we know is that it brings Him glory. In his commentary on this verse, Matthew Henry observed that “the fixedness of God’s choice is owing to the freeness of it.” God chose me freely, not based on something in me. Thus, He will not abandon me simply because I’m a screw-up and a sinner.
God’s unconditional election of me is really good news.
So that’s all I have to say for now. My pot pie is getting cold. I guess if you want this put into better words than I can write, listen to the hymn “The Love of Christ is Rich and Free” by William Gadsby. You can find it on Sandra McCracken’s hymns album The Builder and the Architect (or listen free on its website). It’s a beautiful song praising God’s unconditional love.
(P.S. You should really buy The Builder and the Architect because it’s incredibly good.)
Dave reviews…Prince Caspian
Have you ever watched one of those movies where a little into the film, you start thinking, “Hey this movie rocks!” Then a scene comes up which makes you reconsider, and you start thinking the movie might actually be kinda lame. Then another scene reintroduces the rockage. Then another scene plows it under. Finally, you’re left confused about whether or not you actually liked the movie.
That, in a nutshell, is Prince Caspian. But if you want specifics, you’ll have to wait while I gear up for a little rant.
First, I want to start with a few positives. The new Narnia movies beat the pants off of the horrible old BBC movies. However, that’s a lot like saying a clothing store is “classier than K-Mart”—not a very high standard to meet. So I’ll add that the movies were also pretty well cast, have good special effects, and usually avoid being corny (…usually).
Sadly, the movies are also missing their soul. That’s because Aslan—the central figure of the books and the only character found in every book—is boring. In fact, he usually looks a little sleepy. He’s certainly not threatening. I guess this isn’t too surprising; the American church has become content with the friendly, safe God that C. S. Lewis despised. No wonder, then, that Aslan seems wise and kind but not scary. When he chewed up the White Witch in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, I was more than a little disappointed that he popped up with a sanitized, toothy grin. Just once, I’d like to see blood dripping from Aslan’s teeth to remind us that he’s dangerous—you know, not a tame lion.
At a later date, I’d like to post more on how a lack of fear of the Lord is likely the defining sin of the American church. In this sense, the Narnia movies are symptomatic of a deep flaw in the way we look at God.
In the meantime, let’s dive into a few specifics before we wrap up the review. What did I like, and what didn’t I like?
If you haven’t seen the movie but you plan on seeing it, now would be a good time to stop reading.
I liked the acting, the darker battle scenes, Reepicheep the mouse (and all the mice, which were done very well), the trees fighting, and the occasional humorous quip.
I didn’t like the scenes blatantly ripped off of the black rider and river chase from the Lord of the Rings movies. I didn’t like the way the movie stretched to engineer awkward character conflicts. And while I’m usually pretty lenient regarding creative license in movie adaptations of books, I thought the whole attack on the Telmarine castle departed too far from the books (though it was still pretty good). Finally, I thought Susan smooching with Prince Caspian was unnecessary. In fact, what was up with that little hint of a love story? It definitely wasn’t there in the book, and it didn’t add anything to the movie. I will admit I’m still embittered by an utterly gratuitous sex scene which ruined a perfectly good novel I just finished reading.
Now, with that said, if you’ve read the books, I’d recommend seeing the movie. It definitely could have been worse. Speaking of which, it’s time to rate the movie, reducing years of creative work to a series of currency symbols:
- I would pay money to see it again ($$$$).
- I would see it again if someone gave me a free ticket ($$$).
- I wouldn’t see it again even if someone gave me a free ticket ($$).
- I wouldn’t see it again even if someone paid me to go ($).
Prince Caspian scores a cheery $$¢ (two dollars and change). I grade hard, so that’s not a bad rating at all.
Dave’s guide to buying milk
Milk. It’s a vital source of calcium and artificially-added vitamin D. It’s a necessary ingredient of all sorts of culinary delights such as butter, cheese, ice cream, and strawberry-cheesecake-flavored yogurt. It’s the most delicious substance that can be squeezed out of an animal. Milk is all these things…yet it also can be a confusing product for many uninformed consumers. This is where I step in as your trustworthy guide to a lactative Paradisio.
In order to acquire some of this heavenly goodness, you first need to weigh your options. There are four possible sources of milk:
- A local farmer. If you live in the country and know a farmer who owns cows, this isn’t a bad place to begin. Milk straight from the cow (full cream milk) is the best sort of milk you can drink. Unfortunately, if it’s unpasteurized, it may also be the last sort of milk you drink.
- Your doorstep. This only works if you live in a country where milk is delivered to your doorstep by a handy milkman. Unfortunately, this is not the case here in Lafayette, so I can only imagine what a wonderful custom this would be.
- A woman. Hey now, that’s just sick. I can’t believe you suggested it.
- A local supermarket. For most of us, this is the main source of milk. Thus, the rest of this buying guide will focus on how to purchase milk in a supermarket.
Upon entering your local supermarket, your highest priority should be to locate the area of the store where the milk is stocked. It is usually in the back—in fact, it is in the farthest corner of the store from where you entered. This is because the owner of the supermarket knows you came there with the sole intent of buying milk, and he wants to distract you with junk food, brightly-colored fruit, and Ho-Hos placed strategically between you and your prize. Do not be distracted by these other products. You came here to buy milk. (Though you may buy Ho-Hos if you wish.)
Once you arrive in the area of the store labeled dairy, you will find milk packaged within hundreds of plastic jugs and cardboard cartons, nestled snugly on racks behind thick glass doors. Your first instinct will be to leap through the glass and greedily gulp down the milk in every last container. Do not do this! It is very expensive, and usually people stare at you funny. Instead, I recommend taking a deep breath or two; then, look at the brands and types of milk available. Here are a few possibilities you may find in front of you if you are shopping in Lafayette:
- Great Value (Wal-Mart store brand). This is an adequately-flavored milk, suitable for cooking and pouring on cold cereal. It leaves behind a little aftertaste after drinking.
- Dean’s. Exactly the same as the Wal-Mart brand.
- Sealtest. Exactly the same as the Wal-Mart brand.
- Kroger. Utterly delicious. This milk leaves no aftertaste and is perfect for drinking straight out of the glass.
Next, you must decide how much milkfat you want:
- Whole milk. Contains 3.25% milkfat. Probably a bit much for most people, but a few hardy (and rotund) souls swear by this variety.
- 2% milkfat. The best all-around milk, perfect in every situation. Enough milkfat to be tasty but not enough to make you feel like you’re guzzling fat.
- 1% milkfat. Some fool’s compromise between 2% and skim. Nobody actually buys this unless he or she is trying to please both 2% and skim milk aficionados. Ultimately, it pleases no one.
- Skim milk. Imagine taking a glass of water and pouring in a nondescript, flavorless white powder. What you get is skim milk. It is “real” milk in the sense that Kenny G is a “real” jazz musician.
Now that you’ve decided which variety of milk you would like to purchase, walk up to the glass doors and open them (warning—they may be sliding doors). Find the jug or carton with the latest possible expiration date and remove it from the rack. Bring it to the checkout counter and pay for it (optional). If the cashier asks whether you would like your milk in a bag, respond with an emphatic “No!” Only pansies do this. Real milk lovers carry their milk to the car in their own hands, lovingly cradling it as they look forward to an afternoon spent reading a good book while sipping a tall glass of delicious cow juice.
Iron Man review
This is the third movie review on my blog. By now, I’m pretty much an expert. You can count on me to be a trustworthy and reliable guide who will save you the trouble of deciding whether to spend your hard-earned flamboyant cash on a movie or on a 2-lb. bag of Jelly Belly Flops instead.
Iron Man is a very good movie. I would recommend watching it. If you want me to rave about the phenomenal job Robert Downey, Jr. did as Tony Whatever, sorry, go read another review. Actually, you should probably do that anyway. I don’t think I have much to add to what “real” movie critics have said, other than to comment on the fact that apparently terrorists are very stupid people who can’t tell the difference between a missile launcher and a suit of robotic iron armor. Fortunately, the movie is so much fun that it doesn’t really matter.
By now, you’ve probably figured out that I know next to nothing about the Iron Man comic book legacy. I referred to the hero as “Tony Whatever,” but this was simply a case of humorous irony because I knew full well that his name was Tony Stark. However, I had to pay a visit to the Iron Man Wikipedia page that night to get an idea of how faithful the movie is to the comics. As it turns out, the answer is “not very,” because there weren’t nearly enough alternate universes, fake deaths, and other bewilderingly stupid plot devices common to all popular comic book superheroes. I remember reading about the Fantastic Four before viewing their second movie, The Rise of the Silver Surfer; I finally had to call it quits on my research in order to retain my sanity.
Speaking of the Silver Surfer, what’s up with that name? That’s probably the worst superhero/villain name I’ve ever heard. “Silver Surfer”? What’s his catchphrase: “hang ten, bra”? Doesn’t exactly strike fear into the hearts of men. It was pretty tough to overcome the image of a laid-back Aussie surfer dude while watching the Silver Surfer movie (which was pretty dumb, by the way). Now, that’s one strength of Iron Man—at no point in the movie did I ever catch myself thinking about the main characters: These people are all annoying and I don’t care about them. Most movie critics agree that establishing a…pathos…with the heroes is important to a movie. In this sense, Iron Man is a rousing success because I actually found myself liking Tony and Pepper and Tony’s robotic assistants and even the bad guy Obadiah Stane—though in Obi-Stan’s case, it’s mostly because he has a cool name.
Actually, speaking of robots, that’s one area where I found it hard to suspend my disbelief. Everyone knows robots with artificial intelligence are bent on world domination and will stop at nothing to enslave or destroy mankind. So it’s tough to believe that they would haplessly and benevolently wield fire extinguishers to aid Iron Man in his quest for justice.
Well, the time has come to end this review. I have developed a handy new ratings system for movies:
- I would pay money to see it again ($$$$).
- I would see it again if someone gave me a free ticket ($$$).
- I wouldn’t see it again even if someone gave me a free ticket ($$).
- I wouldn’t see it again even if someone paid me to go ($).
Out of this four-dollar-sign rating system, I give Iron Man $$$¢ (three dollars and change). I encourage you to go see it.
